Musings

When I draw, it's like I'm somewhere else. Hearing what my surroundings say, but not really listening. Dreaming about cheesecake sometimes, and sometimes being cross with everything and everyone around me. Musing my resentment for change in those I love. And then, there's the cheesecake again. Suddenly, I am talking to pa in my head. And then, I'm shopping with ma. And Krish is grumbling about the pongal at school. Thinking about endless fun with Sanu and her imitations. Di and I are giggling and the conversation is incoherent. Nani and Dabu entertaining my catastrophic Sindhi. Shankoo is apologising for something ridiculous again, and smothering all and sundry with his magic kissies. Veenu masi insists I'm lying to her about Shankoo. Dadima insisting that I've lost weight when it's quite the contrary. Engaging in conversation with bubble masi and Prashant jijaji, whilst little dedum makes fart noises in the background. Then comes the memory of being sick while masi has labour pains. Once my queasiness was assuaged, Dedum was born at precisely 2 minutes to 8 o'clock. Arguing about religion with Dadaji and realising, while I may not be able to ever do that again, he is here with me, arguing again. Medha is spacing out during conversation, surprise, surprise. And then there's that perfect cheesecake again. This time, I'm at dinner with ma, pa, namu aunty, anil uncle, saand, saach and K. We are obsessing over this magnificent cheesecake and indulging in hilarity. Before I know it, I'm smiling. And I look back at what I'm drawing.

Someday, I will have you tattooed on me, to remind me of everything and everyone I love. To tell me who I am, everyday.